Sunday, September 20, 2015

Diary 11

September 20, 2015

2126: It's been a long day. Up around 4:30, drove a few hours, mowed lawns all day, broke a string trimmer that doesn't belong to me, got rained on, ate more fast food than I should've, drove a few more hours, and now I'm home and showered, ready for bed.

Spent a lot of good time with Sisters 3 & 5 (birth order, not ages) and Mom today. So many laughs! Of course, I don't remember any of the situations clearly enough to relate them to anyone else. Even if I did, I'm probably too tired to write it right now.

I'm going to be really sore tomorrow from the lawn work. I had to take two Tramadols today for my feet. I haven't had a Two Tramadol Day in weeks.

Daily food run-down:
I had coffee with milk when I first got up, but I didn't eat breakfast until about 8:30 a.m. because I wanted something on my stomach when we began to mow. I didn't want to be ready for lunch at 9 a.m. I had a sausage/egg/cheese breakfast on a bun from Whataburger and iced water.

We had lunch around noon, and I had a Hunger Buster Junior from DQ and iced water. I wasn't trying to eat a small meal for weight loss purposes, I just didn't want a huge meal since it was so hot out and we still had a lot to do. Ordering that little burger reminded me that when I was thin I made it a habit to order kids' meals instead of full meals to help with portion control.

I drank three or four Gatorades during the course of mowing. It was humid & hot today--in the 90s--with barely a breeze. Good thing it was overcast now & then.

On the way home, we stopped at Whataburger again and I tried their little Whatachicken bites. They're basically the same thing as the chicken strips, only smaller than a McNugget. I went for the honey mustard dipping sauce. I didn't even eat a third of my fries, but I ate the Texas toast. I felt remorseful about that later. I didn't need that dang toast, I just like butter. I ordered a large unsweetened tea, but of course they screwed up and gave me sweet. I needed the caffeine, so I just drank it. I need to be more particular about checking orders before I move away from the employee. Immediately after realizing my tea was sweet, it dawned on me that I'd forgotten to order a kid's meal instead of a full meal. *sigh*

The good news in all of this is, even though my carb count was undoubtedly super high today, I did a better job at portion control than usual and also the only things I bought at gas stations today were gas and bottles of water. No chips this time, and still no sweets!

In the shower I was thinking about how I used to eat around 15 years ago compared to how I eat now. I lived overseas for seven years, and whenever I came home on leave, one of the main things I liked to do was eat at all the restaurants we didn't have overseas. When I finally moved back to the States, I immediately did the same thing--eating as if I were on vacation and wouldn't have access to all those fast food restaurants again for a while. Unfortunately, that never stopped. Add to that the fact that the antidepressants I was taking made me hungry. The listed side effects were nausea and weight loss. However, I was taught that if you don't have the flu and you're  nauseated, you probably need a snack. So whenever I felt nauseated, I would eat. And you know what? The nausea did subside when I ate. For about 1.5-2 hours.  I ate a lot.

Hopefully the realization about eating as if I'm on vacation plus not currently being medicated will help me break the cycle.

Tonight I'm thankful for:
--Soap & running water
--Clean pajamas
--Comfy beds